The atmosphere is depressing.

I don’t know, if I can stand one more moment in this hospital.

I can’t breathe in here.



He is staring at me and I reply his gaze.

A lot of strange thoughts circle in my head.

Why is he looking at me this intensely?

I’m shaking, but I don’t know why.



Mulder, do you want to tell me something?

The look of your beautiful eyes becomes even more meaningful.

What is going on with you?



I already want to go, want to get some fresh air.

But you call me back:

“Scully?” you ask gently.

I shrug.

Your voice sounds so different.

Is this you, Mulder?

Are the drugs doing this to you?

I become serious and walk towards your bed.

“Yes?” I ask anxiously, fearing Mulder’s response.



“I love you”





I’m falling.

Help, can nobody hear me?

Did you just say that, Mulder?

You better not.

No, better not.

Don’t do this to me!

Don’t play with my feelings this brutally, Fox!

I can’t stand this!

I want to burst into tears.

You disappoint me.

You do.

How could you just say something this important without being sure, that you absolutely mean it?

I would never have expected something like this from you.

I never thought you could say something which means so much, so heartless.

Mulder, this hurts so incredibly.



Suddenly I feel the Scully-Instinct deep inside of me:

He is drugged, Dana.

Don’t take this serious,

He is not aware of his feelings right now.

He is just saying those three words.

Meaningless.

Just like that.

He probably even thinks, it’s funny.



Mulder does not know, that I would give my life, just to hear those words at the right moment from him.



Oh Mulder, just why?

Couldn’t you have said anything else, which hadn’t been so painful for me?

You just ripped my heart out and threw it right in again.



I am still looking at you.

What do you expect?

I feel hurt.

So hurt.



But I can’t make you responsible for this, Mulder.

I mean, you are drugged.

Damn drugged!



Sorry, Mulder, I don’t know, what to say.

I will hate myself for the following, but what else shall I do?



I can’t do, what I feel like.

I can’t kiss you right away.

Can’t kiss your smooth lips and see, what they taste like…

Damn it, Dana!

Stop it!

This Man is drugged and you think about kissing!





If I take this whole thing serious, it will kill myself.

I mean, you don’t really love me, Fox, do you?

It would really be my end, if I believed your words when they aren’t true.

Are you aware of that?

No, you are not…



No, I have to go, just go, I got to get out of here.



It feels so wrong, but believe me, it’s right.

It is better, that I am not responding this in any personal way.

You don’t know, what you are doing.



All these thoughts were thought in a few seconds, that felt like hours.

Tottering hours.